Not that I haven't been doing stuff.  Started back to work on my Thunderhawk Gunship.  Started prepping weapons for it.  Hit up Home Despot to mix me up some paint for it.  Better a little house paint of the right color than use really expensive GW paint.  Also played some games in the last few days.  Played a big Apocalypse game on Thursday.  Really BIG battle...  Most normal games are 1500-200 points.  This was 35K per side.  The Imperium beat those foul and foreign Orks, but only just barely.  Today I played a friend's Grey Knights.  Despite my shitty dice rolling, managed to eke out a decisive draw. 

But that's not what any of you want to hear about.  Welsh Girl is doing well.  She's got another appointment and, if I remember correctly, another ultrasound on Wednesday.  I've started reading about what to expect in the upcoming months.  There's definitely a nesting thing happen because we've moved around our living room and begun moving around our "den".  Other than that, her emotions are still a bit of a roller coaster, better at some times than others. 

As for me, well, I'm working and trying to keep her happy.  Thing is, well, I don't feel anything. I know that we're about to have a child and I am happy about that in an intellectual sense, but I don't feel anything emotionally.  Which is a bit of a problem because for the last couple of weeks, I've been playing the part for Welsh Girl.  I've been trying to be supportive and seem thrilled and all that but I really just see it as a state; we are having a child and this is the way things are.  When we first found out, she wanted to know how I felt and I told her exactly what I'm telling you, that I am happy but not jumping up and down for joy.  She seemed to almost take it as a slap in the face.  How could I not be happy, she seemed to ask.  Well, I haven't been looking forward to this for my entire life and especially focusing on it in the last few months like she has.  Or maybe I just don't feel things like she does.  Hell, maybe I don't feel much at all about anything.  No, I'm not worried I won't love the child.  I'm just not in the same emotional state that she or most people are about children.  That upset her to no end.  So I play the part.  And I better be careful lest it wear me out.

Last night we went to our friends' house for their son's second birthday.  There were munchies and cupcakes and all that kidsy stuff.  Everyone spent some time watching a DVD of the kid doing things and stuff.  Just about everyone was glued to it but me.  I know the kid's out of the ordinary and all that, but what's the point in rehashing everything he does?  For grandparents who can't be there all the time, I understand, but why watch recordings of things your kid has done when you could be doing more thing with them?  I don't think I'm going to be one of those people who feels the need to take pictures of everything or record everything.  At least I hope not.  Welsh Girl better learn to take some pictures if she wants them because I won't be taking them.  I also hope I'm not that guy who throws a birthday party for a one year old.  I know that party is not for the child and if it's not for the child, what's the point?  Why do I need a party once a year to say to my child that I love them?  If I do things all the time to show it, isn't that enough?  I have a lot of habits and inclinations I hope my child doesn't pick up or develop.  However, I hope my dislike of parties isn't one of them.

Enough of all that.  Off to bed, I think.